Stop and Smell the Roses: The Aromatherapy of Erotic Massage

What could possibly be better than a smooth, sensual rub down? One that smells absolutely divine of course! You may not consider scent to be all that important to your erotic massage technique, but when it comes to your caresses, you’ll be amazed at the difference that an aphrodisiac can make.

Aromatherapy? Not for Me…

When I say the word “aromatherapy” you may already have visions of New Age music and your wife’s special spa treatment, but there are a dozen great reasons to bring some basic aroma science into your sex life. Don’t be fooled – aromatherapy is serious business!

The primary ingredient in any aromatherapy treatment or concoction is the essential oil – a volatile oil from plant matter, the part of the plant that gives it scent and taste. You can purchase essential oils from a number of different sources in order to make your own massage blends. You can buy already blended oils ready to use, or you can even endeavor to make your own!

Just remember… being natural doesn’t automatically make something safe. Some essential oils are contraindicated for pregnant or menopausal women. Others can make the skin more photosensitive or cause irritation. If you do decide to blend your own mixes, be sure to follow careful directions regarding the preparation of massage mixes. All essential oils need to be blended into what is called a carrier oil, the kind of oils typically used for cooking and body preparations – almond, grape seed, coconut, even plain grocery store olive oil will work, though something with a more neutral or tropical smell is generally recommended.

What Works?

Dozens of different oils have been associated with aphrodisiac properties, but we each have our own particular predilections. What your woman enjoys will all depend on her olfactory senses, so experiment a bit and see what she likes. Take a sniff of the perfumes and air fresheners she uses. Does she like floral, spicy, musky, or fresh? Does she tend toward sweet citrus hints or savory herbals? Why not take a shopping trip to a local essential oil supplier with your lover and see what kind of scents you can pick out together? Here’s a list of common aphrodisiac oils to get you started on your search.

Amber has a sweet, sensual scent that begs to linger in the hollow of the throat and spread across the pulse points, reminiscent of her favorite perfume. It has an overpowering scent that can be difficult to blend, so use it sparingly.

Basil is sweet and spicy, encouraging sexual stimulation as well as being mentally and emotionally invigorating for those days when she is so worn out that she’s worried a massage is all she’ll be up for – don’t worry, if anything will wake her up, it’s basil!

Bergamot is a general mood-lifter with a soft, citrusy floral scent that plays very well with others.

Cinnamon, with its spicy apple-pie scent, is a favorite of men and women alike, encouraging a relaxing down-home feeling all the while spicing up any situation.

Clove compliments cinnamon blends very well, with another spicy note.

Cardamom, another favorite “C” spice, has a sweet and enticing aroma which encourages sexual attraction with a warm, inviting glow.

Coriander should be used sparingly, but it’s sweet and spicy scent is often considered an aphrodisiac, mixing well with other oils like jasmine and sandalwood.

Ginger is another spicy scent which can be used in warming oils, again with caution. It is known to increase passions and inflame desires, and goes well with the “C” spices.

Grapefruit is incredibly uplifting and mixes well with other citruses, along with neroli, bergamot and the “C” spices above. It is another mood-lifter to help brighten a bad day.

Jasmine is an intoxicating floral scent that hardly any woman can resist, adding warmth and sensual notes to any mix. It should be avoided during pregnancy, but mixes well with other musky oils like amber, neroli and sandalwood.

Lavender is a classic massage scent because of its ability to encourage relaxation. It is also antibacterial, so works great for foot massages after a long, hard day in heels!

Neroli is an exotic aphrodisiac with a deep, seductive scent known for facilitating sexual excitement and clear communication between lovers.

Rose essential oil is as good as a real dozen of the precious flowers, sweet and sensual, uplifting and joyful, speaking right to her heart. It is perfect for special occasions and mixes well with other exotic or floral scents.

Patchouli is exotic and musky with a very earthy aroma, both provocative and sensual for decreased inhibitions and increased desires. It tends to blend very well with a body’s natural scent.

Sandalwood is another musky scent with deep notes that speak to its use in ritual and meditative practices the world ’round. It is excellent for slow, sensual lovemaking.

Vanilla is another classic scent which, like cinnamon, tends to remind us of home. It mixes very well with spices, as well as any of the floral scents.

Ylang ylang is the quintessential aromatherapy aphrodisiac, erotic and exotic, known to enhance libido and to your Wellbeing

This Busy Brain Won’t Let Me Sleep! Crystals and Aromatherapy to Quiet the Mind’s Chatter

Troubled Days Often Lead to Troubled Nights

Your ability to fall asleep (and stay asleep) is closely related to the amount of anxiety or emotional stress you are experiencing.

Perhaps you unable to go to sleep. You toss and turn in your bed, worrying about something. Your mind repeatedly returns to the troublesome subject, even though there is no solution to be found at this moment. There is no rest to be found now either! Sometimes you fall asleep just fine, but part way through the night you awaken with a disturbing fear or an anxiety. Your mind starts turning the problem over and over (oh, that busy brain). You are now completely awake with an insufficient amount of sleep.

Our bodies are designed to devote a third of our lives to sleeping. But why must we sleep? Why can’t we just sit and rest?  Those are interesting questions, and scientists are still delving deep into the answers. However, most researchers have now agreed that it is it is your brain that requires sleep. Simply resting allows your muscles to relax, but your brain gets no rest.

A consultation with a health care provider is always recommended for questions or concerns about your physical conditions. For an occasional sleepless night, the calming energies of certain crystals and aromatherapy (essential oils) may help quiet the mind to allow you to sleep.

Crystal Energy for Sleeplessness

Did you know the most well-known stone for insomnia is Moonstone? Moonstone stimulates the functioning of the pineal gland, which secretes melatonin, the hormone associated with sleep. Ideal for calming emotional distress, Moonstone can also help you settle your thoughts so you can get a good night’s rest.

Some additional crystal suggestions to keep on hand for those occasional sleepless nights:

  • Amethyst is a very healing stone, helping to manage pain and emotional issues
  • Garnet neutralizes nervous energy
  • Hematite is calming
  • Jade relaxes and provides a sense of well-being
  • Lapis lazuli helps resolve unfinished mental business
  • Lepidolite has anti-stress properties, dissolving tension
  • Sodalite promotes peace and stillness, quieting the chattering busy brain

Aromatherapy for Sleeplessness

Lavender essential oil is associated with relaxation and sleeping. It is wonderful when you can’t get your mind to stop going back to a troubling thought when you try to sleep. But did you know that too much lavender is a stimulant? Be sure to place just a single drop on your pillow, a drop in a diffuser, or a half dozen drops in a bath before going to bed.

Here are some additional aromatherapy oils to try for sleeplessness. You may prefer one of these to lavender.

  • Mandarin
  • Myrtle
  • Roman Chamomile
  • Lemon Verbena

An Introduction to Aromatherapy Massage

Touch is important to all living beings, being one of first and most basic means of communication. Massage is just one way of communicating sensations, hopefully of a pleasant nature.

Just as the body stores up the tensions of the day, both physical and emotional, in the muscles of the neck, back, head and limbs, so massage is a way of removing these muscular tensions, and as a result associated mental tension should also be eased. In addition massage can stimulate the circulation of the blood: the intended purpose of the massage should always be considered – if a massage is given to aid sleep, an invigorating rub down may have the opposite effect!

Aromatherapy massage adds an extra sense – that of smell – to the basic benefit of massage. Fragrances have the power to evoke feelings and memories independently of conscious thought. Combining aromatherapy with massage makes for a powerful experience – essentially the massage giver passes on their energy and touch to the receiver.

Contrary to popular belief, massage is not complicated or difficult and can, by following a few simple rules, form an important part of the healing process.

Always massage with the flow of your body, which is towards your heart. When massaging the abdomen the flow is in a clockwise direction, using circular movements that follow the flow.

Be aware of the needs of the person whom you are massaging, to ensure that it is a both a comforting and soothing experience, especially where the young and the very old are concerned.

The following is a simple guide to the different types of massage and the strokes that can be used to ensure the best results.

What Will I Need?

Aromatherapy massage is one of the simplest ways of using essential oils, but it still helps to prepare your tools and working space in advance.

It is important to have a warm, draught free and quiet environment, where you won’t be disturbed, and where all of your oils and accessories, such as clean towels, are easily to hand.

All essential oils need to be diluted in a carrier, or base oil, before being massaged onto the body or face. As a general rule of thumb the ratio of essential oil to base oil should be:

10 – 15 drops of essential oil in 60ml (12 teaspoons) of base oil.

(Click here to see our full range of carrier oils for use in Aromatherapy massage)

The Basic Massage Strokes

Aromatherapy massage requires long slow strokes maintaining contact on the body at all times, alternating with short fast friction rubs that warm the oils and help spread them evenly over the skin. Delicate areas such as the abdomen, pelvic region and bony areas should be stroked fairly lightly, while greater pressure can be applied to the heavier muscle areas such as the shoulders, buttocks and back. The basic massage strokes listed below comprise the main movements required for Aromatherapy massage.

Effleurage (Stroking Movements)

This is a series of gentle strokes enabling the massage oil to penetrate the body, helping to bring about a state of calm and relaxation. Use the whole hand to do short or long strokes, these can be firm or gentle depending on how you feel. This type of massage helps to increase circulation, relaxation of the muscles and relieve the body of stress and tension.

Petrissage (Kneading Movements)

Petrissage is gentle kneading movements, like kneading dough. The art of petrissage is never to cause pain or discomfort and should be performed slowly and carefully. It is usually used on the back, muscular and fatty areas, and is good for releasing trapped toxins, relaxing muscles and encouraging the lymphatic system to flow. As you perform each kneading movement put a slight pressure on your thumbs.

Friction (Circular Movements)

Especially beneficial for areas that are cold or of poor circulation. Rub the skin in circular movements with the flat of the hand in short, fast movements.

Raking Movements

Hold the fingers stiffly at the joints to resemble the ends of a rake, or as if to play the piano, and with fingertips touching the skin, make firm, raking movements with one or both hands, backwards towards your body.

Pummelling Movements

Make one or both hands into fists and, keeping fingers loose and relaxed while held in a fist, bounce them up and down the body in a fast drumming movement. Pummelling can also be carried out with the hands flat, and fingertips down, or with the sides of the hands, or even with the palms turned upwards.

The Five Main Areas for Massage

Hand Massage

Head, Neck & Facial Massage

Foot Massage

Shoulders & Back Massage

Full Body Massage

>> Hand Massage

This is especially appropriate for older people and people for whom back, foot or facial massages are not appropriate. Touching the hands gently can be very calming – the fingers are packed with nerve endings, and can be as attuned to different parts of the body as the feet.

A quick de-stresser is to gently stroke the recipient’s hands, from wrist to finger tips, using a light flowing touch with all five fingers.

>> Head, Neck & Facial Massage

Place your chosen essential oils on your fingertips and use the fingers to massage around the head. Use only your fingertips to gently but firmly pass around and over the head in a smooth controlled movement.

For Headaches it’s best to start at the base of the neck and work upwards to the base of the scalp. Use the fingers in firm, but not hard effleurage strokes. Continue for as long as necessary. It may also help to include the upper shoulder area which is also often tense, and may in fact be the cause of the headache.

A self- facial massage of the jaw line up to a point immediately below the ears can also help to prepare us for stressful situations such as sitting exams, interviews etc.

To continue the massage onto the neck area, move the hands to the base of the neck, placing a hand on each side of the vertebrae (never put pressure on the vertebrae).

Use small but firm circular movements, working from the base of the neck, and continue upwards to the base of the scalp and then down the sides of the neck. Work around the sides of the neck using gentle but firm movements.

>> Foot Massage

Massage in an upwards direction form the toes to the ankle; if you are lucky enough to have someone do this for you, thumbs should be on the sole of the foot with the fingers on top, if you are doing your own feet you may find it easier to have your thumb on top with you fingers underneath.

>> Shoulder & Back Massage

Before you begin the massage, ensure the recipient is comfortable, preferably lying face down on a well padded floor, bed or mattress, with a rolled up towel or bolster pillow under the upper chest, to ensure that the head and neck will be relaxed in the face down position.

Beginning with the shoulders, use the thumbs and palms to massage with effleurage and petrissage actions, moving from the base of the neck outwards to the shoulder. You may also find it beneficial to take in the shoulder blade area by making large circular movements around the top of the shoulder to just under the shoulder blade.

Moving down towards the lumbar region of the back, use effleurage strokes, placing one hand either side of the vertebrae, using the whole hand, flat against the back stroke up towards the shoulder around and over the shoulder blade and slide down again the sides of the back. Repeat as often as is wished.

Note: Do NOT massage over the vertebrae, as the spine is very sensitive. Always move the hands, fingers and thumbs over either side of the spine.

>> Full Body Massage

The full body massage should incorporate all of the above massages, while also including the arms, legs and abdomen.

The Arms – Using upwards strokes from the wrist to the armpit. Using petrissage on fatty and muscular areas as appropriate.

The Abdomen – using effleurage strokes, use circular movements in a clockwise direction only.

The Legs – always massage the legs upwards from the ankle to the thigh using effleurage strokes. Where appropriate use petrissage on the fatty or muscular areas. (Never over varicose areas)

Lower abdomen and hips – using effleurage strokes start at the lower back and slide over the hips, then slide each hand over the abdomen. Use the whole of the hand flat against the skin.